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© 2018 by Love Infinity, Inc.

KEEP IN TOUCH!

Uh Oh! Did I Do That?

October 9, 2014

The movie, LOVE STORY, from the 1970s had a very famous line in it that said: “Love means never having to say you are sorry.”  Nothing could be further from the truth!  

 

 

 

Here are 10 WAYS to HELP HEAL a HEART YOU'VE BROKEN: 

 

1.      YOUR SPOUSE IS WRESTLING WITH TWO EMOTIONS:  JUSTICE or MERCY.  YOUR ACTIONS WILL BE THE TIPPING POINT

  • When there is no heartfelt apology, justice can elevate to revenge

  • Healing happens when your sincerity for change tips your spouse toward mercy and reconciliation.

 

2.      DON’T STAB YOUR SPOUSE EMOTIONALLY AND THEN SET BOUNDARIES FOR WHERE THE BLOOD CAN FLY

  • Do not put time limits on how long they can hurt

  • Do not make them feel guilt for not trusting you right away

  • Do not give a timeline for when they should feel safe again

  • Do not place guilt on them when they feel surges of pain

 

3.      MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ADOPTED A “POSTURE OF APOLOGY”

  • You have genuine remorse

  • You have heartfelt repentance

    • Repent = to change your mind

  • You have humbly requested forgiveness

 

4.      TRIAGE THE PAIN ASSOCIATED WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR WRONG DOING

  • Don’t abandon your spouse’s pain in order to go and deal with your own.

  • It may be painful for you to listen to how deeply you have wounded your mate, but listen anyway.

  • Distrust, sadness, fears, shame, anger, sadness, confusion, shock, and other emotions are often the byproduct of emotional wounding. Be sensitive and present as a sounding board throughout the process.

  • Your spouse may need to express their pain regularly and at random times. Ride the waves of emotional ups and downs rather than jump ship and save yourself.

 

5.      BE AN OPEN BOOK

  • Hide nothing

  • Over inform rather than under inform

  • Be so transparent until your spouse will retire their detective gear

 

6.      SELF EXAMINE WHERE AND HOW THE LEVIES OF YOUR LIFE BECAME WEAKEND

  • You must be determined to strengthen your boundaries

  • You must address the iniquities of your past

  • Determine that your fortress will be built on the indestructible, inpenatrable Word of God.

 

7.      PRAY FOR WISDOM, DIRECTION, SENSITIVITY AND PATIENCE

  • There is nothing as powerful as prayer to change a situation

  • Use the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to help you make right choices

  • Use the Word of God to develop love, sensitivity and patience for your spouse

 

8.      LET YOUR ACTIONS OF LOVE SPEAK LOUDER THAN YOUR WORDS

  • Listen attentively to the needs of your spouse and set out to do what it takes for rebuilding

 

9.      KEEP YOUR PROMISES AND BE CONSISTENT IN YOUR ACTIONS

  • Every unbroken promise leaves behind a brick. That brick is used to build a wall of protection for the wounded person’s heart

 

10.  PRIORITIZE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

  • Invest your time, effort, finances, and our emotions into your relationship on a daily basis

  • Your spouse must know that he/she is of the highest priority in your life by your daily actions

  • Never allow another person or thing meet an emotional need that is designated for your spouse

  • Nourish intimacy outside of the bedroom


 

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